THIS REALLY COUNTS

When we look for someone to spend time with or even to marry, we typically look for certain QUALITIES in an individual; Certain aspects of their character that tell us who they are in certain situations. But one thing we may not think about is HOW that character is formed in our own lives and most importantly WHEN we form these impressionable qualities.

“Character is so largely affected by association that we cannot afford to be indifferent as to who or what our friends are.”

At the beginning of this year, I set out to build my faith. After all, faith is the biggest enemy of fear so I want all that I can get, right? Well, little did I know that asking for more faith is sort of like praying for patience. God will place you in the longest line at the grocery store or you may find yourself in a traffic jam more often. I found myself in the middle of situations where I had to have faith or I would have crumbled. Building good character is best formed and polished in “uncomfortable” situations. Why is that? Because character is DEVELOPED over time, it isn’t something we’re born with and anything long lasting takes time to get. And it’s often in the moments we think our lives are wasting away because stuff isn’t happening fast enough, that if we take a closer look, we can see what ‘s ACTUALLY happening. Our character is being formed and our “default settings” are being re-programmed.

“show me a man with good character and I’ll show you someone who cannot fail.”

How is character formed?
The way we build character may surprise you. It is an act of our subconscious responding to habits formed. As we think about things over and over, eventually we do them. And over time as we repeat them, they slowly become habit. When we have done these things long enough, we no longer have to think about them. It’s sort of like driving the same route every day. There have been times when I get so lost in thought driving home from work that when I get home, I wonder HOW I got there! I can’t remember most of the drive because I’m on “auto pilot.” It is habit that has become my “default” setting and no longer requires much thought. It works the same way for things like being trustworthy, patient, having integrity, persevering, praying when things get difficult instead of trying to do it ourselves, responding with hope and something positive instead of defaulting to the negative status quo, etc. We practice these things until it becomes who we are NO MATTER what our own circumstances may dictate.
“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do” ~Shaquille O’Neal

When is character formed?
It’s in the times when we are waiting for the next step in life. When we are clinging only to hope or a promise and our emotions beg to rule us in the uncertainty. It is formed in the “mean times” of life when our faith is being challenged and things around us seem unsure. It is in decisions we make when we think no one is looking. It’s in how we treat people that can do nothing for us . It is a repeated, deliberate act of our will to persevere until it becomes a “default” setting for us; until it becomes who we are.
“The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don’t know what to do.” ~ John W. Holt
I find that as I increase in faith, there are often times when I am in “the desert” so to speak. Some prayers are answered powerfully and immediately while other require…well…faith. It’s in these times that I realize there is something else going on that is just as important. Character is being chiseled out of the unknown. And my character…hence my attitude… hence my faith…hence my outlook and overall outcome is taking shape and setting the stage for powerful things to come, guaranteed.
“character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live…as well as think.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why is good character so important?
We build character one difficult decision at a time and then practice it over and over until it is real. This is why we shouldn’t be discouraged in times when things are moving slower than we think they should.. We are being developed. Refined. Built up stronger for better things ahead. We are becoming leaders who will impact people in huge ways because at our core is a solid foundation built and tested ready at all times. Few things in life have greater value because few things are earned at this pace and cost. Character determines our destiny. If our “default settings” cave when the going gets rough, then our future is short circuited and blessing can be cut off. How can we have a powerful future if we cave half the way there? We must take time to develop this right. It is who we are and often determines what we will become.
“Character is a subconscious act. You don’t think about it. You simply react.”

It's A Daily Thing

I am a lover of great motivational quotes. I love the ones that get me thinking and propel my thoughts to a higher standard. I am always grateful to get a “shot” of something positive into my day! Raging optimism is a powerful force that will defeat negative intent any day. But just how much power can something like a simple quote really have?


“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can
be done without hope and confidence.”
- Helen Keller

I think that most people will agree that being positive is a good thing. The challenge is that it must be authentic to have relevance and it requires consistency to have power. As with anything worth while, it is a daily effort. And with anything "real", it isn't always easy. The main struggle takes place in our mind. It is the very gateway to where the real power lies, our spirit. But before we dig in too deep, let's look at a few basic principles.


“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily.”

Zig Ziglar



We must guard our thoughts carefully. Fear is the main cause of negativity. It breeds aggression, hostility and deep-seeded doubt. If we can cut down on the negative, we automatically allow more positive in and eventually out. When we put good things into our minds, good things come out. When we surround ourselves with good people, we become more effective. Notice that we have "to put"... these things aren’t automatic. It is a constant effort of the human will to swim upstream of a rigorous, negative flow. The good news is that it gets easier every time we do it!


"When you consistently maintain a positive frame of mind, you'll become known as a problem-solver rather than a complainer. People avoid complainers. They seek out problem-solvers."
Joseph Sommerville




These are all pretty basic thoughts. Here's where the commonality twists a little. We are made of three parts: spirit, soul and body. Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Therefore, it is the soul (mind) that is the "bridge" into our spirit. Are you still with me?

The truth is that we can spend all of our time motivating ourselves happy and still feel empty at the end of the day. Why is this? Because we are only "feeding" the gateway or the bridge to what really propels us! The SPIRIIT controls the soul (mind, will and emotions) and body. If we were to simply engage our spirit with the only language it understands, faith, we could bypass all the other stuff!



The antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own
cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God's guidance.
- Norman Vincent Peale


As I spend more time in prayer, my faith automatically grows. Fear ends where faith begins. Faith bypasses the mind, cuts off fear and injects a steady stream of hope and peace.Instead of just engaging my mind in positive activity, I am feeding it's primary source of power. So while some motivational quotes speak to my soul, the ones that leave a lasting impression are the ones geared toward my spirit. The ones that remind me of my purpose,destiny and original design by God to be different and accomplish great things with Him. It is in these that I can feel flames billowing up inside me, pushing back doubt and anxiety. A fierce peace shields my soul and protects against restlessness. And yes, even this is a daily effort. Just because I know something, doesn't mean that I don't need to be reminded of it.


So how much power is in a single quote? I guess it all depends on where the words are aimed. Whether it's your spirit or your soul, positive response is a powerful force that only allows for great things. The difference between soul and spirit ...functioning on a high level ...or accomplishing the impossible. Either way, the daily effort is well worth it!



When we let go of fear, only then can we gracefully move from
what was into the miracle of what can be.