When we look for someone to spend time with or even to marry, we typically look for certain QUALITIES in an individual; Certain aspects of their character that tell us who they are in certain situations. But one thing we may not think about is HOW that character is formed in our own lives and most importantly WHEN we form these impressionable qualities.
“Character is so largely affected by association that we cannot afford to be indifferent as to who or what our friends are.”
At the beginning of this year, I set out to build my faith. After all, faith is the biggest enemy of fear so I want all that I can get, right? Well, little did I know that asking for more faith is sort of like praying for patience. God will place you in the longest line at the grocery store or you may find yourself in a traffic jam more often. I found myself in the middle of situations where I had to have faith or I would have crumbled. Building good character is best formed and polished in “uncomfortable” situations. Why is that? Because character is DEVELOPED over time, it isn’t something we’re born with and anything long lasting takes time to get. And it’s often in the moments we think our lives are wasting away because stuff isn’t happening fast enough, that if we take a closer look, we can see what ‘s ACTUALLY happening. Our character is being formed and our “default settings” are being re-programmed.
“show me a man with good character and I’ll show you someone who cannot fail.”
How is character formed?
The way we build character may surprise you. It is an act of our subconscious responding to habits formed. As we think about things over and over, eventually we do them. And over time as we repeat them, they slowly become habit. When we have done these things long enough, we no longer have to think about them. It’s sort of like driving the same route every day. There have been times when I get so lost in thought driving home from work that when I get home, I wonder HOW I got there! I can’t remember most of the drive because I’m on “auto pilot.” It is habit that has become my “default” setting and no longer requires much thought. It works the same way for things like being trustworthy, patient, having integrity, persevering, praying when things get difficult instead of trying to do it ourselves, responding with hope and something positive instead of defaulting to the negative status quo, etc. We practice these things until it becomes who we are NO MATTER what our own circumstances may dictate.
“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do” ~Shaquille O’Neal
When is character formed?
It’s in the times when we are waiting for the next step in life. When we are clinging only to hope or a promise and our emotions beg to rule us in the uncertainty. It is formed in the “mean times” of life when our faith is being challenged and things around us seem unsure. It is in decisions we make when we think no one is looking. It’s in how we treat people that can do nothing for us . It is a repeated, deliberate act of our will to persevere until it becomes a “default” setting for us; until it becomes who we are.
“The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don’t know what to do.” ~ John W. Holt
I find that as I increase in faith, there are often times when I am in “the desert” so to speak. Some prayers are answered powerfully and immediately while other require…well…faith. It’s in these times that I realize there is something else going on that is just as important. Character is being chiseled out of the unknown. And my character…hence my attitude… hence my faith…hence my outlook and overall outcome is taking shape and setting the stage for powerful things to come, guaranteed.
“character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live…as well as think.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why is good character so important?
We build character one difficult decision at a time and then practice it over and over until it is real. This is why we shouldn’t be discouraged in times when things are moving slower than we think they should.. We are being developed. Refined. Built up stronger for better things ahead. We are becoming leaders who will impact people in huge ways because at our core is a solid foundation built and tested ready at all times. Few things in life have greater value because few things are earned at this pace and cost. Character determines our destiny. If our “default settings” cave when the going gets rough, then our future is short circuited and blessing can be cut off. How can we have a powerful future if we cave half the way there? We must take time to develop this right. It is who we are and often determines what we will become.
“Character is a subconscious act. You don’t think about it. You simply react.”
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